I am in the process of preparing 4 monologues, 2 packages for the best graduate school programs in the country. This will be my third time doing so. Each time the application process gets even more mundane, almost to the pont of apathy. It's simply something I feel like I have to do or I'll always wonder and why would I miss a trip to wonderful chicago to see my best friend?! I am also preparing for an open call for lend me a tenor and applying to act on a cruise ship. Yes, they are all very different, but you have to put yourself out there in so many instances until something, anything catches.
Anyway, I have done this countless times before. Prepared the material, known the characters, read the plays, nailed the monologues, and really acted in the moment. And then you think, for what? What did I actually achieve? I didn't get the role, I spent time and money to audition... So I force myself to learn something, to squeeze the experience for everything it is worth, so that I don't feel as rejected. There are auditions that are actually fun, that are like fond memories and then there are others where you walk out of the room feeling silly because the casting directors just glared at you wanting you to leave the room...
Anyway, here I go again doing it over and over again. The prep work, studying the play, my objectives and defining my relationship to partner. Do it because you love it otherwise it will eat you alive. You have to somewhat just REALLY enjoy the journey. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE the journey. I just have a hard time with the formal rejection letter part. But this too shall pass. I don't think journaling as my character has been the most effective however. More active, in the moment. Actually talk to someone, get something and it's always important........raise the stakes and most importantly, just do.With everything I've read from Michael Shurtleff to Stanislavski, the best audition advice that I remembered was from David Mamet. "Invent nothing. Deny nothing."
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