A good night!

Tonight was perfect! Tonight, I loved my life... If all my life could look like tonight, I could never ask for anything more! Well, maybe not the same night, but different variations of the same night... oh, never mind haha. Anyway, I think part of it has to do with the fact that I curled my hair and I looked great and when you are confident about how you look, it shows in the way you walk, talk, ect. I'm pretty sure they've done studies on that, like it's a real thing. So, I've decided to make a genuine effort to look my best all the time. I know this will require additional effort, but I'm going to try it and see if it works, see if there are any improvements to my acting career or otherwise. I'll keep you posted. Anyway, I went to Killian's class. I'm obsessed, I love it! And the people there are great; we're building a real camaraderie, which is fun. I'm always sad to see good things come to an end, but welcome to the rest of life. We have our final class next week.

Then, the usual UCB show. Woo hoo! We saw convoy/last day of school. They're all good. Always. So you can just sit back and laugh. Oh, I was selected as one of the interviewees for the diversity scholarship at UCB (which I wouldn't have known about it except my whole friend group applied. I'm lucky I have smart friends or I'd never get anywhere!!). I may or may not get it, but I'm grateful to get this far. They actually liked my four paged single spaced narrative. Which reminds me of the script I'm writing. I write all kinds of other stuff...it's about time. I enjoy writing, I think it's fun, so it's a great hobby even if it never leads anywhere. You won't know ANYTHING about the screenplay until you see it in the movie theatres years from now. I know you're a skeptic, but we'll make a believer out of you yet! Also, working on landing an internship with fox news, I contacted a friend in new york who works for fox news out there to get whatever inside scoop there is to get. I have cool friends.

I don't know, I suppose I imagine all of us walking out of a comedy show with a bunch of other attractive, driven, artistic young people, laughter at the chic bars nearby and the hipsters with cigarettes and it just feels right, like what I imagined all raveled up in a moment. LA life. This is what I want. Now, just to move to the city and be here all the time. UGH. Paying those student loans!!! I want to be debt free by the time I'm 30 and even though that feels like it is consuming my life at the moment, I think I'll be grateful I made this financial decision. It's hard when you want to splurge on acting classes though.... and go shopping, ugh, the weights of being a girl hehe. Follow your dream!!!! It totally sucks at the beginning, but if you wait it out two years, there is finally some sort of payoff. and you probably are more resourceful and wont have to wait as long for a break. I'm not very good at functioning without a specific structure. I'm learning, but still an amateur. And life just takes time to build. As much as we don't like that in this culture, it's the reality, so love the journey... I remind myself that as often as possible, but often my emotions get the best of me. However, I decided that's okay. I'm being nicer to myself and myself likes me for it. You know what I mean! Cheers! (As a random man said that to me once... and he wasn't even British)

Almost at the emmys

So... this story has absolutely nothing to do with acting, but it was too crazy not to share...
So, there I was a normal person walking down the street. WRONG. not Sept 22... because this day, I was casually walking down the street, casually dressed, minding my own business, when out of the BLUE comes this guy with greasy long hair who wreaks of alcohol in a tux. He just opens his arms to me and asks me for a hug. I very politely decline. And then he say he has an extra ticket to the Emmy's and would I like to go? His very nice normal cab driver said that he did indeed have an extra ticket if I wanted to come. First of all, I"m not dressed for the Emmys although I did look cute... hey, I have to be superficial once in a while... and I did contemplate it for a split second.. but then everything from my childhood screamed "dont get into a strange limo with a gross drunk man!!!" And then I played the evening out in my mind and I would probably have to beat the old man off with a champagne bottle... or it was a huge scam and I could have gotten sex trafficked.... that's a thing! So, after this split second of inner dialogue, I told them I had plans but thank you. and the gross drunk man hugged me anyway... oh dear. I smiled and walked away as quickly as possible. I'll see the Emmys some other time.... maybe with Paul Rudd... oh wait, did I write that out loud..oooops ;)

Perspective Matters!

So, apparently, I'm not supposed to post anything about Killian's workshop, so all I will say is that I LOVE it! I like the work we do and the people I do it with. And the other thing is that Hollywood is getting smaller and smaller. It is happening more often that someone I see did a webseries with this other friend or yeah, we both know someone else and that's fun. I like how the world gets smaller the longer you live.

Then I went to see Last Day of School and Convoy at UCB. It's always fun to re-connect with my ucb friends.It still amazes me at how clever and fast the teams are, well, I suppose after 12 years that's to be expected haha.  I'm forming a little community and that's helpful. Somehow it makes me feel as if I'm getting somewhere.

Did dinner theatre again as well. I feel like a regular now and that's exciting.

Most importantly, I met with my friends from San Diego. The friends I've had for eight years and counting, the ones that have been through it all with me, gosh how I miss them. Anyway, I was venting about my impatience about my career and where I wanted to be compared to where I was. A lot of them are in the same place. All our college friends have fancy titles on linked- in and facebook and what not to hide the fact that we are ALL still trying to figure it out. That's true. Because I suppose it sounds cool when I say, "yeah, I'm an actress living in LA doing dinner theatre and improv and on camera classes, hanging out at the chic bars and meeting all kinds of interesting people." When I look at it that way, I suppose it doesn't sound so bad... On the beach to my friends I said, "but, you know... it's all gonna work out" very sarcastically and bitterly, they laughed. But, I thought, "what if I said that to myself, but I really did believe it?" So I tried. "It's all gonna be okay," I said reassuringly to myself as I would have said it to someone else reaching for affirmation.And then, the funniest thing happened, I believed me. Funny. Anyway, life is what it is and things will come. I may not feel 100 percent grateful all the time, but I can go through the motions of being aware of my blessings and I honestly think that helps... a lot. That's exactly what I needed; an attitude adjustment.

Killian's On Camera Class 1

I ma taking the foundation class of Killian's workshops for Commercial Auditioning for the Camera. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this class! I love how functional it is and how business oriented it is. And the other thing I learned about myself is that this is totally something I could do. There is a spot for everyone in commercials! I am very good at memorizing things quickly, so I think that gives me an advantage. Finally!!!!
I feel comeptent at something! Like it comes so natural. I've been doing improv for so long, I forgot how much I loved to take a script and make t my own.

He had us read this commercial and we did a first take. Then he gave us some major pointers, which on a selfish level I decided not to include in the blog... I mean, I know no one really reads it, but what if some other actor found it and discovered all my fun secrets that I paid good money for.... There's already too much competition, sorry guys... Anyway, we did a second take and it was like night and day.

My favorite part is that at the end of the class, they try to help us get a commercial agent if we don't already have one. That is like gold to me, I am hoping and praying it all works out, but you never know. Rule number one in this city is not to count your chickens before they hatch. I've been contacting agents for months though, it would help to get some kind of a referral. Sheesh, why don't I know more powerful people???

Killian is so funny to me, he is all about communication, listening and structure. I think it is because he can't stand incompetent dumb people. However, he comes off kind of intense. So we have Jared teaching the foundation class and thank God because Killian comes off a little scary at first. He is a good businessman though in that he knows himself and how he is perceived, so he has someone else handle the beginners. I respect that about people, really knowing themselves. anyway, he comes off very "L.A., all business" for lack of a better term. It is a great experience however. I need some business tips and it takes place in an actual working studio space. In fact, there was a callback that night happening in the room next door while our class was going on. Fun!

I went to San Diego to visit my family and friends. It's so strange because on the one hand, it's nice to be out of LA, to reflect on what is really going on in your life and how you feel about everything and what you are going to do next. But, on the other hand, I couldn't help but itch to get back to the city and the networking and my friends there. I think the city can have that effect sometimes. I'm not sure if you ever quite feel established and if you ever stop feeling guilty for leaving when you're missing so much. It's complicated when so much happens in such a short span of time and all the time. But, I think it's better to feel at home in two places than to be constantly going somewhere else because you dislike where you are, so I am grateful.

I'm also forcing myself to enjoy the moment more. This is the beginning, you won't be at the beginning forever, embrace the unknown because that is the key to this whole adventure anyway.

A celebrity encounter and then some

I was really disappointed today. I saw the movie Trance and I was so excited to check it out and it turned out to be very strange, I mean I get the twist they were trying to throw in, but I thought the script was lacking, that the story needed more connection and the weird sex was more like a tangent than a focus... a lot of the original relationship between Simon and the therapist was lacking, which made the rest of the movie somewhat empty. It is so sad mostly because I usually ADORE James MacAvoy.. but I suppose even the best have their off films...Also saw Now you See me. that was cute, fun, what I expected and had a fun twist at the end, but not mindblowing by any means. what a fun girl role though!!! I want to die my hair red and swim in a tank of pirannas haha.

I was hanging with some friends last night and we saw Steve Carell. One of the girls chased him down to say hello because she's from the town that the Office is based on... I was a little embarassed. I decided long ago that if I ran into a well established actor, I wouldn't introduce myself as a fan. I prefer to meet them for the first time as a colleague, you know? It's so funny how people seem like such a big deal and yet, how similar their life can be in a moment. He was just picking up some pizza.

The dinner theatre show Saturday night went so well. I got to play the killer and man, I was WORKING that room. It felt like my own little mini private dinner party on a boat. I made funny connections with a lot of the guests and laughed a lot. Lots of sly glances and knowing comments. I even made some friends with the audience memebers. I met people who ALSO actually enjoy seeing  movies by themselves. We decided to start a club of solo movie-goers. We all go see the same movie, but sit far away from each other.. brilliant right??? okay... nevermind! I don't expect you to understand.

The World's End

Went to see this movie at the hollywood Arclight with a couple friends. I hadn't seen any previews... and I LOVED it. The banter in the script is so smart. The thing I love best about British humor is the high stakes. I would love to do more of this style of work hehe.