Trucking along

The dinner theatre show went sooo great this time and I think it was because I was cast with a guy as my date who actually realistically could be dating me in real life. Our table totally bought us hook, line and sinker! So much so that a gentleman at our table gave us marriage advice. And then he went on this analogy about a flagpole and a monkey and how that relates to good communication. He was a little tipsy. Anyway, everyone thought we were normal until.... BAM! Our bit comes and we have this dramatic scene with yelling and slamming tables. He unsults me, I get to smack him (at which point cues the "OOOOHHHHHHH" from the room) and then he gets shot... oh theatre! Cheesy, but too much fun!!

For me, one of the more interesting parts was when this lady, who's alias was "Black Widow" comes up to me quick at the beginning and begins to ask me questions and then suddenly says, "where did you go to school?" It threw me for a loop because how does this lady even know I went to school and noooo one has ever asked me that question at the show before. I probably made a weird face and hesitated, but I answered honestly and that seemed to satisfy her. After the show, she came up and said, "I knew you were an actress. Your voice gave you away. It's very strong and clear. I used to teach theatre which is why I asked you about school. Did you really go there for school or was it part of the role?" And you can imagine how the conversation continued. Yes, it was real, thank you for coming, it was fun, drive safe, blah blah blah. Anyway, that is the 100th time a complete stranger has commented about my voice. Maybe I really need to invest in this? Next goal: Save money to take some voice caster classes and eventually develop a voiceover reel. It cant hurt to expand my skills.

Went to a dinner b day party at el compadre last night. I just like being in hollywood and seeing people at thier finest- when everyone is all dressed up and out, laughing with each other. I like to silently watch them all glow as the volume increses around the room.

Oh, and watched STOKER. Great cinematography, and I know that comment gets thrown around all the time, but really beautifully artistic and detailed. It was as if it was filmed fromt he persepctive of a troubled girl who could hear the click of shoes and rub of a belt and what it all meant. The capturing of glances, silent exchanges between characters. It was just fun to watch and slowly grow with the protagonist, to learn her motives for isolation. The plot made a full circle which was fun. I just enjoyed it! I want to make work like this! And duh, the acting was great! That's just a given.

UCB 201:Support… and other thoughts

I’m almost thinking of retaking 201 so I can just get a lot of practice finding the game,  but would that be frustrating to take a class with people who don’t know concepts that you’ve had time to work? Maybe it would boost my confidence. Hehe.

That being said, I went to do a make up class today and the teacher was very supportive, which was nice and it reminded me that I am here to be in a class, to make mistakes to work on my weaknesses and that’s what I’m paying for. However, the natural result of the nature of the class is constructive criticism. I think felt constructive because he said, “Nice work” at the end and even if he says that to everyone, it’s nice to hear. We worked on support. And it was surprisingly unintimidating to be with a bunch of people I didn’t know. But I think it was the structure of the class and doing basic exercises. That’s simple enough, right? No room for awkward, fake conversations.

We learned about support, particularly from the back line such as: walk-ons, tag outs, cut to, sound effects, physical support. The tag in was the one I had the most trouble with. Here’s the deal. I can recognize the unusual thing and I can play with the idea of tagging in as a doctor/ therapist/ neighbor/ boss, but I have trouble building based on a specific premise. I feel the need to expand the same idea. I need to start thinking of why. Why is this person this way? Why are they unusual? What do I do in my normal life? How would they be different? The only problem is that I have milliseconds to answer all these questions in my head . I feel like I’m not thinking fast enough, not making fast enough connections.

At the end, the instructor just had us do two people scenes. Our first suggestion was nose ring. I said something about having a new piercing and did my partner like it. Which he responded by saying, “no” very flat out. It was funny, but I got stuck… we obviously got in an argument because I started the scene with a question. UGH!!! Questions are so natural. When you’re standing there lacking information, it’s human nature to ask a question to gather information. I must instead choose to know the answer, more rewiring of the brain.  Our next suggestion was Barbie and so I was initiating my friend into the Barbie club inside a tent I had. The instructor interrupted and wanted us to cut to the middle of the scene, so I cut to sitting in the tent (which is the same thing, just a different position). Instead I could have started talking as Barbie to another Barbie as if we have been playing for a while, but for some reason, I have a block. It’s difficult for me to jump that far because we’re physically not there yet in the scene. I have no reference for what happens next. I need to start thinking forward, thinking of possibilities, making things active.

I did have a revelation. I see these performers and how quickly they move and make connections and so I feel the need to be fast. I think I expressed this in a side comment and the instructor stopped me. He mentioned it’s not about being fast. If anything, I need to slow down because so much information is coming out at once. Maybe that’s the key. Another goal I have with this process is to slow down and listen. Particularly while I’m in the beginning of a scene.

And all the people I’ve met so far at ucb have been friendly and nice. Hey, from someone who works with actors, this is a luxury. The ucb students are universally private and doing their own thing, but once the initial connection is made, they are kind.

My friend and I met in 101 and really connected, so we created a group of people from class to come to the comedy show that always took place conviently after our 101 class ended, which always happens to be bangarang and some other group. We continued to take 201 on the same day of the week, so our bangarang tradition continues. I like my friend because he is very analytical and business personality minded as I am, so when we talk about improv we are on the same page. This is the revelation that we discussed most recently: we think that there is an “improv” personality. I think there is because all my teachers talk the same, they almost have the same lilt to their voice, particularly when they are the strait man or the voice of reason. They think things all along the same lines and now that I think about it, the performing improvers in the shows throughout the week have this same personality/ language that they use to communicate. It is very specific and hidden, yet it seems effortless. Essentially, in learning to do improv, I’m learning a whole new language. Phew. That makes me feel better. It’s definitely a process. I must learn to communicate in terms of games and unusual things, but in a very basic, normal seeming way. Does that even make sense? Anyway, I need to develop the parts of myself that fit this universal “improv personality” so that when I am playing the strait man, I can rely on the default I created. This way, I react to the things I’m supposed to react to (whatever is deemed unusual), I don’t throw in too many unusual things, and I can then think in terms of building a game. All other thoughts and patterns are distractions, so when I am doing improv, I need to simplify. Think less. “Yes and” …( agree with your scene partner & add information)…. If only I could trust I’d be funny. BECAUSE there are scenes where I “yes and”…. And still the scene is unsuccessful, so that’s the basic, but it’s far more complicated than that. 

UCB 201: Justification

Ah!!! What to say? This UCB class is definitely working my brain. We learned about justification in class tonight. For example, in the exercise, you start off a scene as completely normal. When the unusual thing comes up, one man is the strait man and the other is the unusual character and the scene will play our three times over with different justifications. Afterwards we discussed what made them successful or unsuccessful. For my scene, my partner opened with how excited she was to be invited to my sleepover. I responded saying I was so glad she could make it. She says she’s especially excited because I’m so popular and I deny the fact that I am popular even though I obviously am. She endows me with dating the star of the football team. The unusual thing is that I am clearly popular, but wanting to deny it. So now… why? My first justification was because popular girls where short skirts and I don’t, so I clearly can’t be popular. I DON’T KNOW!!!! It was the first thing that popped into my head. And then she proceeded to comment on how all my jeans are so in style. I contradicted with, “but really, when you think of the ideal popular person, she is always wearing a short skirt, therefore I can’t be popular.” Then the scene proceeded and got stuck on the skirt thing. In the notes afterwards, it was brought to my attention that the justification wasn’t bad, I simply got distracted. It wasn’t necessarily the skirt. It was the idea that “If I wasn’t 100% the ideal, I couldn’t be popular.” Ways to build the game instead of sticking on the skirt thing could be to mention that in the cafeteria, I don’t sit at the #1 table, I sit at the #2 table, so clearly I’m not popular. I’m not the captain of the cheer squad, I’m the co-captain. Basically, being popular, but not the #1 perfect ideal. So, my justification wasn’t dumb, I just had to expand it. To ask myself why did that come into my head? Short skirt should connect to fitting an image which should connect to what else in in that image then that should connect to how can I build the scene/game? The writing helps me process. I’m getting stuck at finding a specific game and then building the right parts of it (not following bunny trails). I think one of the keys to staying off bunny trails is actually listening. We, as creative improv artists will always have an idea. Most of everything that’s successful is turning off your brain to your thought process and reacting to the last line said to you, really listening. Detailed listening.

In the next justification, it was that I’m too nice to be popular. It didn’t play out well because I didn’t commit enough. I kept saying how I take care of elderly on the weekends and always buy girl scout cookies. I could have heightened it. Aka. By mentioning if I really wanted to be popular, I would have to start crushing kids skulls and beating them up, making girls cry and that’s all so exhausting ect.

The third justification was that I’m not popular just because I have a popular boyfriend. In the scene I mentioned how people always talk to him when we’re together. They don’t know my name. The science of popularity by definition is based on one’s ability in themselves, not who they’re dating. My teacher gave a really funny suggestion, but I forgot it.

p.s. My teacher drives me crazzzy Because he is always so funny and so smart and so good at finding the specific games and heightening. I marvel at his ability to pick things out. It is soooo frustrating. But, I suppose it’s good that he is my teacher and I can learn haha.

Then we did an exercise where one person opened with a worldview statement and the other had to naturally respond. This was more fun. Which is ironic because the point was that just by listening and responding naturally to the last thing said, you will get a ton of laughs. Being real and honest is funny.

I think I just need to work on finding the game and building it correctly, but also, you want the game to develop naturally and not too rushed. Yes, establish relationship, location ect. But not too fast to where there are SOOO many unusual things. Because trying to ground the scene becomes almost impossible as there is now no reference for a true reality.

THEN, we saw a show at the Franklin theatre. UGH! They were so good. It’s sooo annoying how they were so good. I just sit there in awe of how they can just do it all, but the most fascinating part was how quickly everything happened. And THEN, we saw a two person team, Heather and Mehl I think it was, but that Heather girl... I mean goodness. She fascinated me. I couldn't keep my eyes off her, everything she did was fresh and entertaining and new, and she too moved so fast through everything. they bothe were able to track each other and transition to scenes together, like they had the same idea at the same time. How do you orchestrate that? I talked with Heather afterwards. She told me she's been doing improv for 15ish years, so I can hardly compare my level of performance to hers. I'm just a baby at this point. It's interesting because I watch her and I say, "That! I want to be able to do that, because if I could, I could do anything." She was so beautiful and versatile. However, there is the understanding that this skill could take years to develop. To train my brain to react so specfically, and the amount of time it would take to train myself seems overwhelming. But, what else am I going to do? (cricket, cricket) Okay! Sounds like I'm still on the bandwagon. What is a bandwagon anyway? A wagon for the band? And if so... not just anyone can jump on, you kind of have to know an instrument. Or do you?

If it ain't broke...

Soorry! I got my wisdom teeth out so I've been drugged up and not really writing or doing anything besides chillin and sleeping haha. I did my dinner theatre show on Saturday which was actually rather meh. The audience really put a damper on things and we could feel it. The smaller amount of people didn't aid either. ANYWAY, I got a note and it totally made me upset. I played the killer and it's supposed to be really obvious that its me in the end... However, because the room was sooo small, I had a target on my back from the beginning and so I didn't do my normal CRAZZZY woman act... and so I guess not enough people guessed me : (
Lesson learned: Don't try to be all artistic and adjust to a crowd. When you have a script that you are doing consistently and you find what works, DONT be creative, save the effort and just do what you've always done.... if it ain't broke don't fix it. Maybe there is something about similarity and tradition and efficiency that we Americans can always appreciate. Fine, easy. I can do it and beyond! It's almost like that moment when you get a note and you want to go sooooo overly in the direction of the note just to make a point, Next time I could be screaming and psycho! No one will even think to guess anyone else!!! I want to make it seem ridiculous and when the director has to humbly adjust me again, I can play dumb... oh actors, what great game players we can be.... in the BEST possible way of course ;) I think I'm just upset because I got a note for a script I've been doing forever. It made me feel incompetent and that upset me, like the host was looking for something to blame. Never the less, I will do the only thing I can in this situation and improve from here. NO MORE NOTES!!!

My own lies

You know, it's weird feeling so many things so strongly in one day. This life path is so darn confusing! AHHHH!!!! That's what I did today in my car, yelled and screamed and threw a fit!!! Ugh! I give myself such a hard time. I had to re-defer my loans another six months because I'm obviously not rolling in the dough and there is a very strong and passionate part of myself that feels I need to get a real job, pay off my debts before I continue to pursue this career.

THEN, I had this amazing and enlightening conversation about politics today and I think I want to be in politics, that I would love being in DC and making real things happen, to walk around with a briefcase and rally people, to touch the most passionate parts of them.

THEN I watch a talk show and all I can think of is the last one I hosted and how I want to have my own show again.To talk about fun things, book guests and wear watches and heels and curl my hair

 And THEN I drive past downtown LA at night. What am I doing? shouldn't I be somewhere by now? Maybe I should take a hint and develop a real career. No! Not this path again. Hey! I gave up EVERYTHING of my old life. All my friends and family and everything that was familiar; I took a huge risk to come to this vicious city where everyone is more than happy to trample all over each other to get what they want. I've booked a few gigs, I'm moving forward and most important, I'm still here. With every hollywood success, the same road was rarely taken. The one common denominator of the wildly successful is time. I just have to be in this city long enough and keep going and something will catch. I just have to deal with my emotions in the meantime... ugh! Why?! Why am I so passionate? Why can't I just sell out? What am I afraid of? ...

Side note: Dinner theatre went well tonight. There are some nights when I walk in and with everyone talking success talk, it just makes me feel inferior and I get down. Tonight however, I was on and I did well and the audience complimented me as they walked out and I laughed a lot and I seemed to glow in spite of myself. You know what I mean! Those rare moments when you look great, say all the right things, compliment people and make instant friends. I mean, let's be honest. The moment when you can see in the eyes of others admiration, that they want to be your friend. But, it may just be all a show, a grand illusion and when the curtain falls, everything is the same again and you are left with an empty glow or what we call a memory, a recollection of smiles and words and the clink of glasses followed by a gasp. And the combination of it all will resonate in your brain someday as "the good old days". I try so hard to make those days now, to make myself believe that life is just how it should be because there is no other option, right? Then why am I dissapointed with where I am? Mostly, I can fake it and convince myself this is what I really want, that I'm on a journey and tomorrow will be better ... and then there are the days when I don't have the energy to convince myself of my own lies.

Getting an agent- arg!

Time to spam the world. I was on IMDb pro for  hours, literally like 5 hours, like my eyes are burning, I've been staring at the computer that long. It can't be healthy. Anyway, I've compiled a list of 121 agencies that will be spammed by yours truly. To be honest, I'm not even sure that IMDb pro will be completely accurate and I wouldn't be surprised if empty mailboxes or warehouses got my headshot, but that's part of the process. ABC printing has good deals on mass printing headshots and the envelopes will be ready. After the initial spam is complete, I will wait a week and then spend hours faxing and THEN follow up e mails another week later and if all that doesn't book me anything, I think I will burn down the city of LA (That was a joke hehe.. not funny? sheesh!). Anyway, the monotony of it is comforting, something about a secure process of completing an activity is actually exciting. Yep, that's it for the moment...

OHHHH!!! and I'm meeting new friends in this city, which is more helpful than you can imagine. Actually having real dependable friends as opposed to what I would call "networking buddies." The only problem with networking buddies is that I am all too aware f how we are using each other. I have to get over the ingeniuity of it. I definitely wasn't born a hustling LA money gal. How much easier life would be if that all came naturally. My new found friends and I are going on a hike this weekend and I have a coffee date set up. Woo Hooo!!!

UCB 201 Improv, Class One

Wow, I definitely feel the notch rise in this level of class. My brain was actually overworked by the time I exited. In 101 they didn't want us in our heads. It was all about being honest, yes and-ing and establishing relationship, location and what. Now it's all about framing the game and finding the game. You can no longer just say the first thing that pops into your head. You have to filter it, make sure it fits the game that's being played, fits it most successfully and then say it in utmost sincerity. I'm sure it becomes natural after so many scenes.It is one skill to watch a scene and say in your head, I think there is a lingo that I haven't discovered yet. The ironic thing is that while I was watching a UCB show last night after the class, a lot of the laughs weren't even related to the game. Laughs can come when someone says a word funny or mispronouces something. I also have a theory that a lot of laughs can be predicted. I'm sure that there are bits and structures that have a guaranteed laugh. For example, in class, we played with the concept of one person being an extreme emotion and the other neutral. Say the emotion is happiness. The character will start happy and escalate in happiness. Then, the character can return to a more normal and neutral place for a few lines and then at the mention of something that sets them off, surprise the audience, have an extreme reaction and it is usually followed by a burst of laughter. Maybe it can be worked down to a science. That's probably why they have us do a specific structure. Anyway, it takes far more focus to get into the pattern of framing a specific game and not only that, but doing it successfully and on the spot. It think this is the part of the process that reminds me of building a character, of knowing every minute detail about them. I can't wait for the stage when we can forget everything and just be, but now it's the working part.

I'm also getting to a point where not having money is starting to wear on me. I'm sure tomorrow it will be better as it always is, but today, its just annoying. It takes a lot of self control to stick to your budget, especially as you are starting out and wanting to connect with people and that costs money. Yes, food money, but mostly gas money. Hopefully that promotion at work comes soon, or I may have to take a break from these classes. ho hum.