Remember....

I'm mentally preparing myself for class tomorrow. I'm on this new kick of making bold choices and being unappologetic... so they are coming tomorrow; I'm moving past the safe zone and I've already decided people are going to love it! That is confidence and that is what sells in LA! Wish me luck for a spot I'm doing tomorrow!!!!

Killian's Workshop and a Revelation

So, Killian has us work on a new commercial each week and this one was with a couple partners. Normally, at a commercial audition (like the one I had last week) when you have partners, you have at least two seconds to say hello/ banter before you walk in the room, but Killian requires complete silence before. This creates a tense environment to try to work and is not helpful for me personally because I am very much a verbal processor. I get what he is trying to do: prep us professionally, get us to think and be creative silently. I suppose it has helped me realize how much of my creative process is verbal collaboration with others. That is when I do my best work. I guess I need to start figuring out a better way to creatively process.. through writing in the lobby when I have my sides? or Imagining? I don't know! I also learned that it helps for me to write out a very very specfic timeline of when lines are said and facial expressions are changed and banter/ sighs/ pauses can occur and to do my own thing in the room. To be a force and LEAD my group and obviously be open to listening if anyone can bring anything else. But I guess I'm learning that the other actors in the room aren't that dependable. I want this. I have to book, irregardless if others are taking it seriously or not.... This is very important to me and I have to treat it that way despite the "looks" I get in the lobby. Commercials are a lot of focus and because it is so fast, every second is precious. Every second is gold, Every second should be part of a great performance. It's a lot to think about and yet make it seem all relaxed and flawless in the room.....

Anyway, it's been fun because I got to go out to eat at Thai Palms on Hollywood Blvd with my actor friend who is visiting from Seattle. We got a group together and the papaya salad almost burned my tongue off! It was AMAZING! Highly recommend it!

After my class with Killian, we met up again to catch the 11 pm UCB show. 4 comedians and I discovered that the key to stand up comedy is much like the key to improv or commercials or any acting- based arena: 100% confidence and 0% fear. Even if you feel like retreating in yourself you cannot show any type of wavering or doubt ever... and for whatever reason, this is what people like to see in a performance. I wonder if it's psychological.. like as humans we need to find someone secure in themselves so we ten can feel secure... anyway, that is what this city is after--- boldness and confidence...sprinkled in with a decent personality, nice smile and someone who is generally kind and responsible... but mostly bold and confident. This is my next goal of what I will try to be... bold and confident. I will walk in to class next week and possibly screw up really bad, but I will do it with pure confidence. At the end of Killian's class, he showed us a clip of Louis Armstrong scatting with Danny Kay and his point was their complete confidence and joy in performing-- that is what we should strive for. We have to want to be in the room more than anything else in this world. Because if you dont want it more than anyone else there, someone else will. "You must be a FORCE in this city" That's what stuck with me more than anything else that he said.

At the end of the day, I know I'm not perfect and that I don't have it all figured out, but gosh I love acting and I love learning and I love working creatively... and even if it doesn't show up on camera now, I will find a way to make it show up and keep pressing on, learning from my mistakes, because sheesh... I can imagine that I will make a lot of them... and that is the life and the journey that I would love and passionately live.

Killians workshop week 2

We'll, I survived week 2 of killians adult workshop! Woo hoo! It's interesting because he constantly brings attention to things I wouldn't normally pay attention to... The details of what will set you apart from other auditions and as you do it more and more, it becomes more second nature. He is also very specific in what he is asking which adds tension to the room because no one wants to be called stupid for missing a game-changing detail. Our second take as a class was much better and we are getting to the place where we take direction quickly, which is very helpful. I also got to socialize with people before class where we could get a feel for everyone's perspective. They were all as thrown off as I was which is sickeningly comforting.... That's so mean lol. I personally need to work on making bolder, gutsy choices. It's easy to stay in the safe zone and do something "right". But you have to go above that to book. I'm still figuring that out haha.

Oh, after the class I met my friend who just moved to la for a ucb show, this one was different because it was more like stand up comedy. Most of the cast was great, but there was this one guy who was terrible, who appeared to be drunk, but I couldn't tell if he was faking it or not. But we laughed and enjoyed young la life where you don't know what's happening most of the time. But hey, that's the adventure of it 😃.  Anyway, I spent hours last week practicing learning commercial lines quickly and working the one we did from the first week. We didn't have homework this week, but I'll probably refresh anyway.  I'm such a school girl! Maybe that will pay off??? Okay , I'm done rambling... Gonna go check that #cmail!!!!

Boot Camp week 1

I feel my life is often full of these hiatuses... (If that's what the plural of hiatus is??? ) from blogging and I've finally decided that I'm not going to feel bad about living my life as opposed to writing about it. Last week, I did another short with a director that I'm building a good relationship with. He really liked the 2nd project we did together where I played a literal man eater.... Like I are men... For dinner.  Anyway, it is a good reminder of how a career operates. People have and always will want to work with talented friends. This means I must be talented. And as I'm working on that, I must make friends that matter. This director is one of them. The projects are sag which brings a more professional crew and cast. This networking thing takes time and I'm not gonna be mad at myself because I'm in the beginning! I'm building connections and continually moving and reminding myself that everyone wishes they were further along in the process; I'm not alone. Phew, breath. I went to the introduction to my 4 weeks of boot camp in killians adult workshop. I like the way he is and how he runs things. He demands a certain standard of excellence and I feel challenged and insecure, but striving to get better. That's why I'm investing to be there. I may not be perfect by the end of the four weeks, however I will try my best, do the homework and soak in as much as I can. That's all I can ask of myself and I will trust that is enough. After all this class is 100 percent for me, not my classmates or even Killian. I will make a choice to be better. These are the thoughts in my mind as I'm running through Walmart trying to find a dry erase board for my homework. I'm excited to push myself and see what happens...  Hopefully this will be so intense that after I will feel prepared for any audition opportunity.