I suppose that appologies are in order because I have basicaly dropped off the face of the earth and if I tell you there was no time to write or no revelations that have happened for the past month in a half, those would be lies. It's just that every time I sit down to write, I feel this overwhelming weight or uninspred... as if I have nothing of particular interest to say. The opposite is probably true, but I also haven't been the most confident in my career as of late.
Here's the thing, and I am sure I am not alone in thinking this... If I was given the opportunities to showcase my talent, I would succeed, if I could get into the right rooms, if I could meet the right people at the right time... if, if, if....It turns out that a career in acting this days is not an acting career at all, but more of a Marketing career. My first job is as self promoter for my brand and obviously, my brand is myself. I spend more time marketing than I do actually acting and it's a surprising revelation. I have adjusted to the industry and have my website and facebook fan page, my twitter that I created just to tweet about auditions and my career. Which, by the way, I think is stupid, but it's something you just have to do, so I do it... I have my youtube page and funny or die account and ect, ect... It's just funny to me.... and slightly annoying, but I've learned to be a marketer.
I am grateful to have an agent, however I wish I went out more often. But, the thing I'm discovering about LA is that every single actor in LA wants a better agent and every single actor also wants to go out more...
I've made some good connections. One with a SAG company that does short films and I'll be working on my second one in three days... That one is a five minute short. I have a friend from UCB that is a part of another production company that has a youtube channel for comedy sketches and I've done a couple projects with them.
I am currently in Ojai for a few days on location shooting a 15 minute short where I get to play a psychopath lead, so that is very thrilling. It is fun to work with people you like and respect as artists. I did a short with them about a year ago. And the idea of doing this on a much bigger scale for a longer period of time sounds more and more appealing. It is incredibe to me how fast the day is gone when youre filming. We wrap for the day and I think, "there's no way thats been 12 hours!" It's impressive. They say find a career that doesnt feel like work so that youll never work a day in your life.. which is why I keep chugging along and I'm grateful for the progress even if it is slow.
The good thing is that I'm developing my reel, which I desperately needed to do, so that excites me!
My UCB group broke apart because of scheduling conflicts. Hopefully, I can join another one soon. Improv really challenges me. I honestly don't like the harold. It's been really hard for me; I definitely prefer a script any day of the week, but I push myself to do it, I challenge my actor brain and my pride and force myself to keep developing those skills and the networking you get from that commuity is a huge incentive for me as well.
I'm continuing to do Killian's classes and they are a huge help for commercials. I feel like I'm constantly learning new things and getting little tools for my actor belt. I learned a great trick about grounding myself this past week and Jacob is a darling! He's always so helpful :) He takes time to teach which is a huge treat because a lot of casting workshops in this city somehow make me feel abused as if someone is just taking my money and doesn't care about me.... It's sad, but I continue to try and develop those relationships.
Guys, when I make it, it's going to be some kind of miracle and this amazing story of adventure and overcoming adversity, but oh, how sweet when the days come when I can say I am a working actor instead of actor/waitress, ugh! I can't wait!!!!
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