Went to the Grub (pictured above-adorable!) with a friend of mine who actually works in the industry today and we just got to joke around, be ourselves and simply talk about life. It's nice to hear positive things about me, especially when any form of the word "talent" is included. It was a huge confidence booster. And I've decided unless you want to do it the hard way, all actors need fans.... or at least friends that will lie to them well and tell them they can do it. I am convinced that it is these little conversations that actually go the longest. Talking with people always gives you perspective, even people outside the industry. surround yourself with good people who love you. I may not have followed all the steps correctly, but this is the ONE thing I have actually done right and I am beyond grateful. There is nothing more valuable than people in this world to begin with.
I was also doubting if I was a real actress as thoughts of getting a "real" job wandered through my mind this week. I found myself crying earlier today because I wasn't working on something creative, because I wasn't creating/ directing/acting and it hurts me... deep. Disturbed? potentially. But, it did satisfy my inner doubt. I am a real artist. I love creating! I spend all my time, thoughts, resources and money in trying to make it happen... if that isn't passion, I don't know what is. Just because it is taking longer than I expected doesn't mean that the results are too far in the future. And wisdom tells me, "do not despise the small beginnings."
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